From life to death, religion to science, recreation to war, the school boys and school girls whose answers and essays comprise The Funny Dictionary: An A–Z of Kids' Funny Definitions (2018) have contributed their best (and worst) on all kinds of subjects.
Much of the time, they have made accidental mistakes; some of the time, they have provided brilliant, albeit accidental, insights.
Here are the students' contributions grouped under broad topics. Perhaps you're giving a speech and want to open with a funny quote that relates to your topic? Perhaps you're most interested in a particular sphere of life, like a priest interested in religion, or an English teacher interested in English? Hopefully, this subject index will guide you to the parts of The Funny Dictionary that interest you most.
You will find the school kids' definitions of the words that I've grouped below by using the alphabetical table of contents at the top and bottom of this website. Words in bold mean there are feature essays about that word.
Abbreviations and acronyms
A.D., A.M., ANZACs, B.A., B.C., B.Sc, C.O.D., D.C., E, e.g., etc., ff., H2O, K.C.M.G., L.B.W., M.A., M.D., N.B., O.B.E., O.M., P.S., P.T.O., R.I.P., R.S.V.P., S.O.S.
actuary, amnesty, anglophile, anthology, antipodes, antipodes, apiary, ass, bacteria, banter (illustrated), boomerang, brawn, bronchitis, carafe, cataract, caterer, caterpillar, caucus, centimetre, centipede, chameleon, condensed milk, coward, cowboy, cows, crickets, crisis, cuckoo, dogma, dogmatic, dogs, dry farming, eavesdropper, elephant, emu, equilateral, equinox, erosion, etymologist, extempore, extrovert, finesse, fissure, foliage, gender, giraffe, gladiator, goblet, grizzly, haddock, Hamlet, Hibernian, hippopotamus, horse, hostage, ibex, Irish bull, leper, litre, mammoth, marital, marsupial, mayor, menagerie, meteorological station, millennium, monsoon, moose, mosquito, O.B.E., octopus, oculist, opossums, ornithology, ostracise, oxygen, paradox, parallelepiped, parapet, parasite, polygon, polyp, primate, rabbit, rococo, rudder, ruminant, sardine, senator, sheep, singlet, skyscraper, stock exchange, swastika, tomahawk, tripod, turkey, turquoise, typhoon, yacht, zebra, zodiac, zoo
artery, B.A., etching, fiasco, immature, inhibition, M.A., pageants, pantophobia, plagiarist, poetry, rococo, sculptor, still life, traumatic, yeast
conscription, corps, corpse, crematorium, dead heat, decease, doctors, elocution, epitaph, fallacy, gelatine, guillotine, kindred spirit, life, post-mortem, R.I.P., sceptre, seminary, symmetry, tome
active voice, adjective, alliteration, ampersand, author, averse, classic, collective noun, composition, conjugation, conjunction, consonant, defective verb, dictionary, dieresis, ellipsis, elocution, etymologist, facsimile, fiction, figurative language, grammar, Hamlet, hyperbole, idiocy, injection, interjection, inverted sentence, irony, literally, metaphor, plural verb, poetry, polemics, prefix, proposition, pro-, proper noun, prose, reverberation, rhetoric, semi-cologne, simile, sonnet, speech, spoonerism, syllable, synonym, syntax, tautology, tragedy, vice versa
aunt, bamboo, perspective
a la carte, acumen, al fresco, B.C., caterer, caviar, cereals, connoisseur, cretins, filet mignon, gelatine, gondola, gorgeous, hampers, harmonizing, macaroons, marine, omelette, ominous, preservative, sausage, seasons, sheep, sirloin, spaghetti, tartar, unleavened bread, yeast
a la carte, au fait, bouquet, connoisseur, cortege, coup de grâce, crematorium, etiquette, faux pas, filet mignon, laissez faire, manoeuvre, pas de deux, tête-à-tête
Fruit and vegetables
artichoke, coal, focus, magnet, mangoes, melancholic, nectarine, P.T.O, pineapple, plummet, polyp, raisin, rhubarb, salt, silhouette, still life, sultan, sultana, vegetable cell, vegetarian
acropolis, antipodes, archipelago, atoll, consonant, contour, creek, curfew, E, equator, erosion, ethics, Himalayas, import, island, latitude, longitude, maniac, Middlesex, North Pole, oasis, Oceania, pacifist, peruse, Philistines, pyjamas, Seven Hills of Rome, Surrey, Thames, tundra, volcano, weir, welsher
Girls and boys
ass, cortege, gender, girls, ladies, mangoes, Oedipus Complex, spinster
alderman, amnesty, arable, atoll, balance of power, bank holiday, budget, by-law, Cabinet, caucus, communist, conservative, constitution, constitutional monarchy, deficit, democracy, desecrate, devolution, dictator, disestablishment, facetious, gremlin, income, incumbent, Kremlin, laissez faire, land tax, levity, mayor, mockery, moratorium, neutralise, O.M., Parliament, preservative, primate, Prime Minister, pro-, red tape, revolution, senator, socialist, taxes
A.D., ancestors, antipodes, ANZACS, Argonaut, Aristotle, artichoke, Augustan Era, barbarian, Black Death, centurion, columbine, consul, Copernicus, crusade, Crusaders, Elizabethan Age, eunuch, facile, feudal system, gelatine, gladiator, hydraulics, Industrial Revolution, Jacobite, Magna Carta, Milky Way, nectarine, Nero, Oddity, Phoenicians, plasticine, proposition, Royal Mint, sausage, Seven Years War, Socrates, speech, Yellow Peril
beds, bowel, budget, guest, homogeneous, hostage, matrix, monogamy, mortgage, period furniture, Phoenicians, pyjamas, Soviet, tumbler
abdomen, ambidextrous, anatomy, aorta, appendicitis, appendix, artery, bowel, brawn, caterpillar, cerebrum, chronic, consul, ear, facile, goitre, liquor, oblivious, pancreas, paradise, pedagogue, prognosticate, solar plexus, spine, topaz
broadcasting, chronic, tabloid
ad nauseum, anathema, Ave Domine, extempore, ibid, obiter dictum, prima facie
ali baba, alibi, barrister, conviction, co-respondent, coroner, divorce suits, evidence, extempore, feudal system, innate, inquest, justifiable homicide, lawsuit, lullaby, Magna Carta, malefactor, manslaughter, mediator, obiter dictum, recrimination, relegate, renegade, salient, sultan, thief
acrimony, adultery, adversary, ambiguity, bachelor, barrister, bouquet, cask, crusade, divorce suits, harmonizing, immortality, justifiable homicide, M.A., mariner, marital, marriage, matrimony, midwife, monologue, monotony, mother-in-law, optimist, polygon, sinister, spinster, tantrum, trigonometry Mathematics: angle, centimetre, centipede, circle, decimal, equator, equilateral, ff., foist, hippopotamus, hooligan, isosceles, line, litre, logarithm, matrix, multitude, nonplus, parallelepiped, pavilion, pentagon, polygon, quadrangle, rectangle, rhetoric, trapezium, trigonometry, trisect
actuary, anomaly, bookkeeping, costume, deficit, disperse, emolument, exhort, filet mignon, heathen, income, invoice, levity, misogynist, monastery, mortgage, N.B., overdraft, pensive, profiteers, prophet, prospectus, stock exchange, taxes
adagio, archipelago, castanet, catarrh, D.C., ff., fugue, goitre, guitar, interval, magician, mandarin, music, oboe, pessimist, reproduction, resonance, S.O.S., sanatorium, scale, semibreve, solar system, sonatina, stevedore, symphony, symposium, syncopation, tenet, thrombosis, triplet, vile
assiduous, atoll, evergreen, finesse, foliage, icons, reefs, reproduction, sewerage plant
actuary, alderman, author, banker, barbarian, barber, barrister, buttress, cowboy, critic, detective, dictator, doctors, editor, etymologist, expert, fissure, furrier, haberdasher, magician, manager, marine, mariner, navigator, octogenarian, oculist, optimist, pedestrian, pessimist, philanthropist, pilot, postmen, post-mortem, priest, prospectus, prostitute, rear-admiral, sailors, sculptor, senator, sheriff, skyscraper, stevedore, taxidermist, vegetarian
Philosophy and society
altruism, aristocrat, Aristotle, augment, austerity, bank holiday, banker, chauvinism, chauvinist, chivalry, circular argument, communist, compliment, contentious, cynic, depopulation, derelict, dogma, employee, etiquette, extravagance, foible, guest, honesty, hygiene, idle, leap year, lie, life, maniac, misery, mobility, necessity, nihilist, optimist, orthodoxy, pacifist, pedestrian, pessimist, puerility, philanthropist, philosophy, politeness, poverty, revolution, Socrates, Stoics, tenet, utopia
anglophile, arbitrary, castanet, connoisseur, cyclone, Eucharist, exhilaration, fetish, jigsaws, juggler, lucre, penultimate, repartee, robot, saline, sleeping partner, socialist, tantrum, Wii
ablutions, acolyte, acrimony, adamant, adultery, amen, anachronism, antipodes, apostle, atheist, bizarre, cataract, celibacy, celibate, Christianity, confusion, conjugation, creator, crusade, Crusaders, deacon, desecrate, devolution, dogma, duplicity, epistle, ethics, Eucharist, faith, fugue, genteel, Goliath, graven image, Guinnesses, hallowed, heathen, hereditary, heresy, holy orders, idolator, immortality, infallible, inflammable, irrelevant, Lent, martyr, miracle, misery, missile, monastery, Mosaic Law, nihilist, opossums, panacea, parable, parsimonious, Philistines, priest, profiteers, prophet, Protestantism, psalms, rabbit, rabies, seminary, synonym, syntax, vacuum, Vatican, Virgil
Science and medicine
acolyte, affectionate, amorphous phosphorus, anaesthesia, anaesthetist, antidote, Argonaut, aspirant, atomic weights, B.Sc, bacteria, biplane, botulism, bronchitis, cataract, caterpillar, caviar, centipede, cerebrum, chronic, claustrophobia, coal, consul, conversation, conviction, Copernicus, crickets, dead heat, decease, diabolic, doctors, dynasty, flirtation, gravity, H2O, hampers, heavy water, helicopter, hereditary, heresy, humour, hydraulics, indiscretion, Industrial Revolution, inflammable, injection, insulators, interjection, interpreter, intoxication, iron, irony, irrigate, juggler, lava, laxity, lethargy, M.D., magnate, magnet, malleable, Mars, memory, meteorological station, meteors, microbe, microscope, Milky Way, moment, monsoon, natural immunity, nitrates, oblivious, oxygen, parasite, pathology, pencil, petroleum, pharmacy, philosophy, phlegmatic, polyp, prism, prostitute, psychology, psychotherapy, quartz, reproduction, rotation, saline, sciatica, seasons, sentiment, solar system, thermometer, thesaurus, thrombosis, trite, turbines, vacuum, water, weight, wind, x-rays
al fresco, C.O.D., cadet, critic, empire, erg, faux pas, hyperbole, L.B.W., polemics, prose, pylon, refugee, seasons, Socrates, spectre, teetotaller, trapezium
computer, icons, insulators, reboot, robot, stylus, Wii
broadcasting, cartoon, cereals
abominable, admonition, adversary, arsenal, biplane, conscription, corps, envision, guerrilla, legions, missile, Seven Years War, strategy, unamiable, zodiac