E the capital of England.
EAR n. the organ of earing.
EAVESDROPPER n. a kind of bird.
Above: An eavesdropper eavesdropping? (Illustration by Tosh Bibb.)
EDITOR n. somebody who does not do anything himself and when somebody else does goes and tells other people all about it.
ELEPHANT n. a square animal with a tail in front and behind.
ELIZABETHAN AGE n. the great age to which Elizabeth lived.
ELLIPSIS n. when you forget to kiss.
ELOCUTION n. a means of putting people to death in the United States.
EMBOSS vb. to promote to join the board.
EMPIRE n. a man that has all the say at a football match; the British Empire is the man that settles cricket matches.
EMPLOYEE n. the opposite of an employer.
EMU n. the name of the noise made by a cat.
ENVISION adj. entering a country by force.
EPISTLE n. the wife of an apostle.
EPITAPH n. a short sarcastic poem.
EQUATOR n. a difficult thing in algebra.
EQUILATERAL n. a HORSE robber.
Above: A "horse robber". The school kid evidently believed the prefix equi- related to the Latin word equus, meaning horse. But how did they get robber from -lateral?
EQUINOX n. 1. Latin for nightmare. 2. a native of Iceland. 3. a cross between a HORSE and a COW.
ERG n. gives energy — eg, when you want your friend to do better in a football match, you erg them on.
EROSION n. the meat of a reindeer.
ERUDITION n. the act of being erude.
ETC. n. a sign that is used to make believe you know more than you really do.
ETCHING n. a ticklish feeling.
ETHER n. one or the other.
ETHICS n. a county in England.
ETIQUETTE n. 1. the noise you make when you sneeze. 2. teaches us how to be POLITE without trying to remember to be. 3. the little things you do that you don’t want to do.
ETYMOLOGIST n. a man who catches butterflies and stuffs them.
EUCHARIST n. one who plays euchre.
EVERGREEN adj. opposite of nevergreen.
EVIDENCE n. something evil they have in police courts.
EXHILARATION n. when your car speeds-up really fast.
EXHORT vb. 1. to get money by blackmail. 2. to tire out — e.g., ‘he was exhorted’.
EXPERT n. a man who knows nothing about anything else.
EXTEMPORE n. a disease in DOGS.
EXTROVERT n. an animal with its spinal column on the outside.
Above: This school kid tried so hard. He or she must have focused on the prefix extro-, a variation of extra- (meaning outside or beyond) and added -vert (as in vertibrae or perhaps even the Latin root, vert, meaning turn. Whatever the school kid's thinking, they created an animal literally "turned outside". (Illustration by Tosh Bibb.)