Preface  |  A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  F  |  G  |  H  |  I  |  J , K  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  O  |  P  |  Q, R  |  S  |  T  |  U  |  V  |  W  |  X, Y, Z  |  Index


GAUNTLET n. a little thin person.  

GELATINE n. a method of capital punishment used in the French Revolution. Cf. GUILLOTINE. 

GENDER n. the masculine of geese.


Above: Some ganders (male geese) showing off their gender. (Illustration by Tosh Bibb.)

GENTEEL n. a man who is not a Jew.

GERMINATE vb. to become a naturalised German.

GESTURE interj. as in ‘Harry, gesture look out for the policeman.’

GIRAFFE n. the highest form of life. Cf. CARAFE. 

GIRLS are what boys have to have for sisters. Sometimes they have one and sometimes more. Girls are funny things. They cannot do a lot of things boys can but they like to try and then they make fools of themselves.

Girls don’t dress like boys; they wear a lot more clothes and they are mostly sissy ones with lace and things like that and they always have a lot of different colours.

Sometimes girls are an awful nuisance when you have to do things for them and they cry if you don't and your father makes you. Girls have a better time than boys do because you always have to let them go first and they can always make themselves look so sad if they have to stand up and then you have to let them have your seat.

But there are some things that girls cannot ever do. They can never climb trees as good as boys and they can never grow up to be men or soldiers. 

GLADIATOR n. a species of crocodile.


Above: A school kid mistakes "gladiator" for "alligator" (Illustration by Tosh Bibb)

GOBLET n. a young TURKEY.  

GOITRE n. a kind of banjo, only harder to play. See also, CATARRH. Cf. GUITAR.

GOLIATH n. the wife of David.

GONDOLA n. a type of smelly cheese.

GORGEOUS n. those who have large appetites.

GRAMMAR n. 1. your parent’s mother. 2. how to talk good. 3. an important part of languish. 4. tells us the parts of speeth.

GRAVEN IMAGE n. one maid with hands.

GRAVITY n. a law holding things up.  

GREMLIN n. the centre of SOVIET government.

GRIZZLY n. a bear that grizzles all day.

GUERRILLA n. 1. a soldier who is up to monkey tricks. 2. a thing you cook chops on.

GUEST n. a person, usually male, who eats, drinks, and smokes as much as he can and pays nothing for it.  

GUILLOTINE n. a kind of BED quilt.

GUINNESSES n. the first book of the Bible.  

GUITAR n. what some women wear to hold up their stockings. Cf. CATARRH, GOITRE.