Preface  |  A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  F  |  G  |  H  |  I  |  J , K  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  O  |  P  |  Q, R  |  S  |  T  |  U  |  V  |  W  |  X, Y, Z  |  Index


IBEX n. where you look at the back of the book to find out anything you want.

IBID n. a famous Latin poet.

ICONS n. the things that fall from oak trees.    

IDIOCY n. an epic poem by Homer. See also, ODDITY.    

IDLE n. the state of perfection.

IDOLATOR n. a very IDLE person.    

IGNITION n. the art of not noticing.


Above: Ignition actually means the act of setting something on fire or starting to burn. The confused student took a miscue from the similarity between ignition and ignore. But if there's no word for "the art of not noticing", then there should be! (Illustration by Tosh Bibb.)

IGNORANT adj. not knowing what to say when your teacher asks you something silly.    

IMMATURE adj. actors and actresses who perform for charity.    

IMMORTALITY n. running away with another wife.

IMPLACABLE adj. not able to be placed.    

IMPORT n. a port very far inland.

INCINERATOR n. someone who hints at bad things instead of coming right out and telling you.

INCOME n. a yearly tax.

INCONSISTENT adj. like tHiS.

INCUMBENT n. a hindrance or nuisance.

INDIGO n. like vertigo, only deep blue.

INDISCRETION n. a sick feeling in the stomach.

INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION n. 1. a special kind of pills which DOCTORS give to lazy people to make them work. 2. the time when people stopped REPRODUCING by hand and started reproducing by machinery.   

INFALLIBLE adj. unlikely to fall over. Cf. INFLAMMABLE. 

INFLAMMABLE adj. what the Pope is. Cf. INFALLIBLE.

INGENIOUS n. a stupid person, from in, meaning not, and genious, meaning smart person.

INHIBITION n. like an exhibition, only indoors.    

INJECTION n. a shout or scream raised by a person too surprised or frightened to make a sentence with his thoughts. Cf. INTERJECTION.

INNATE n. a person in gaol.

INQUEST vb. in quest of the truth even when you can’t find it.

INSULATORS n. people who INSULT other people.    

INSULT n. when somebody tells you what you ought to know but isn’t pleasant. Ant. — COMPLIMENT.   

INTERJECTION n. 1. a stomach upset. 2. a needle. Ant. — outerjection. Cf. INJECTION.

INTERPRETER n. a thing you take temperatures with.

INTERVAL mus. 1. a period for refreshment. 2. the distance from one piano to the next.

INTOXICATION n. a cure for disease.

INVERTED SENTENCE n. a sentence that makes sense either way.

INVOICE n. another name for the conscience.

IRISH BULL n. a male COW.

IRON n. grown in large quantities for manufacturing purposes.

IRONY n. small particles made out of iron.    

IRRELEVANT adj. having no respect for religion.


Above: A student confuses irrelevant with irreverent. Or was the student making some kind of political or social commentary? This illustration by Tosh Bibb is particularly fitting since one of The Funny Dictionary's predecessors is Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary.

IRRIGATE vb. to turbulate.

ISLAND n. derived from highland — i.e., land above WATER.

ISOLATED adj. completely surrounded by ice.

ISOSCELES n. triangles that are used on charts to join up places with the same weather.