Preface  |  A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  F  |  G  |  H  |  I  |  J , K  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  O  |  P  |  Q, R  |  S  |  T  |  U  |  V  |  W  |  X, Y, Z  |  Index

Q, R

QUADRANGLE n. a row in prison.

QUARTZ n. the name for two pints.

R.I.P. 1. Return Immediately Please. 2. Return If Possible.

R.S.V.P. 1. Reply Solicited Via Post. 2. Royal Society for Vermin Protection. 3. Reply Sending Five Presents (V is the clock way to say five).  

RABBIT n. a Jewish priest. See also, RABIES.


Above: a schoolboy mistakes rabbit for rabbi (illustration by Tosh Bibb).  

RABIES n. Jewish priests. 

RAISIN n. the masculine of SULTANA.

REAR-ADMIRAL n. the lowest type of admiral.

REBOOT vb. to kick your COMPUTER again.

RECEDE vb. observed once again.

RECRIMINATION n. violating parole.

RECTANGLE n. a figure with any number of sides. Most fields are rectangles because no-one bothers about their shape.

RED TAPE n. a brand of whisky.

REEFS n. what you put on coffins.

REFUGEE n. keeps order at a football match. See also, EMPIRE.

REFUTE vb. to fute again.

RELEGATE vb. to make legal again.

RELIEF n. another name for thank goodness — e.g., when you have a frightful lot of work to do and someone comes along and does it for you.

REMISS vb. to miss again.

RENEGADE n. a man who kills a king.

REPARTEE vb. partying again and again.

REPRISAL vb. winning an award again.  

REPRODUCTION n. the life process by which an organist produces others of its kind.

REPUGNANT n. one who repugs.

RESONANCE n. the sound produced by putting resin on violin bows.

REVERBERATION n. to make again into a verb.

REVOLUTION n. what you make on New Year’s Day about things you are not going to do next year like wagging school.

RHETORIC n. a form of arithmetic.

RHUBARB n. celery gone bloodshot. 

ROBOT n. a canoe or dinghy. 

ROCOCO n. a prehistoric bird.


Above: A dodo. Not to be confused with the 18th century artistic movement and style, rococo. An easy mistake to make. (Illustration by Tosh Bibb.)

ROTATION n. when the earth turns on its own abscess.

ROYAL MINT n. what the Queen or King puts on their roast lamb.

RUBICON n. the colour you go when you are well. 

RUDDER n. part of the COW where the milk comes from.

RUMINANT n. animal that chews its cubs.