Preface  |  A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  F  |  G  |  H  |  I  |  J , K  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  O  |  P  |  Q, R  |  S  |  T  |  U  |  V  |  W  |  X, Y, Z  |  Index

Subject index

From life to death, religion to science, recreation to war, the school boys and school girls whose answers and essays comprise The Funny Dictionary: An A–Z of Kids' Funny Definitions (2018) have contributed their best (and worst) on all kinds of subjects. 

Much of the time, they have made accidental mistakes; some of the time, they have provided brilliant, albeit accidental, insights.

Here are the students' contributions grouped under broad topics. Perhaps you're giving a speech and want to open with a funny quote that relates to your topic? Perhaps you're most interested in a particular sphere of life, like a priest interested in religion, or an English teacher interested in English? Hopefully, this subject index will guide you to the parts of The Funny Dictionary that interest you most.

You will find the school kids' definitions of the words that I've grouped below by using the alphabetical table of contents at the top and bottom of this website. Words in bold mean there are feature essays about that word.

Abbreviations and acronyms

A.D., A.M., ANZACs, B.A., B.C., B.Sc, C.O.D., D.C., E, e.g., etc., ff., H2O, K.C.M.G., L.B.W., M.A., M.D., N.B., O.B.E., O.M., P.S., P.T.O., R.I.P., R.S.V.P., S.O.S.


actuary, amnesty, anglophile, anthology, antipodes, antipodes, apiary, ass, bacteria, banter (illustrated), boomerang, brawn, bronchitis, carafe, cataract, caterer, caterpillar, caucus, centimetre, centipede, chameleon, condensed milk, coward, cowboy, cows, crickets, crisis, cuckoo, dogma, dogmatic, dogs, dry farming, eavesdropper, elephant, emu, equilateral, equinox, erosion, etymologist, extempore, extrovert, finesse, fissure, foliage, gender, giraffe, gladiator, goblet, grizzly, haddock, Hamlet, Hibernian, hippopotamus, horse, hostage, ibex, Irish bull, leper, litre, mammoth, marital, marsupial, mayor, menagerie, meteorological station, millennium, monsoon, moose, mosquito, O.B.E., octopus, oculist, opossums, ornithology, ostracise, oxygen, paradox, parallelepiped, parapet, parasite, polygon, polyp, primate, rabbit, rococo, rudder, ruminant, sardine, senator, sheep, singlet, skyscraper, stock exchange, swastika, tomahawk, tripod, turkey, turquoise, typhoon, yacht, zebra, zodiac, zoo


artery, B.A., etching, fiasco, immature, inhibition, M.A., pageants, pantophobia, plagiarist, poetry, rococo, sculptor, still life, traumatic, yeast


conscription, corps, corpse, crematorium, dead heat, decease, doctors, elocution, epitaph, fallacy, gelatine, guillotine, kindred spirit, life, post-mortem, R.I.P., sceptre, seminary, symmetry, tome


active voice, adjective, alliteration, ampersand, author, averse, classic, collective noun, composition, conjugation, conjunction, consonant, defective verb, dictionary, dieresis, ellipsis, elocution, etymologist, facsimile, fiction, figurative language, grammar, Hamlet, hyperbole, idiocy, injection, interjection, inverted sentence, irony, literally, metaphor, plural verb, poetry, polemics, prefix, proposition, pro-, proper noun, prose, reverberation, rhetoric, semi-cologne, simile, sonnet, speech, spoonerism, syllable, synonym, syntax, tautology, tragedy, vice versa


aunt, bamboo, perspective


a la carte, acumen, al fresco, B.C., caterer, caviar, cereals, connoisseur, cretins, filet mignon, gelatine, gondola, gorgeous, hampers, harmonizing, macaroons, marine, omelette, ominous, preservative, sausage, seasons, sheep, sirloin, spaghetti, tartar, unleavened bread, yeast


a la carte, au fait, bouquet, connoisseur, cortege, coup de grâce, crematorium, etiquette, faux pas, filet mignon, laissez faire, manoeuvre, pas de deux, tête-à-tête

Fruit and vegetables

artichoke, coal, focus, magnet, mangoes, melancholic, nectarine, P.T.O, pineapple, plummet, polyp, raisin, rhubarb, salt, silhouette, still life, sultan, sultana, vegetable cell, vegetarian


acropolis, antipodes, archipelago, atoll, consonant, contour, creek, curfew, E, equator, erosion, ethics, Himalayas, import, island, latitude, longitude, maniac, Middlesex, North Pole, oasis, Oceania, pacifist, peruse, Philistines, pyjamas, Seven Hills of Rome, Surrey, Thames, tundra, volcano, weir, welsher

Girls and boys

ass, cortege, gender, girls, ladies, mangoes, Oedipus Complex, spinster


alderman, amnesty, arable, atoll, balance of power, bank holiday, budget, by-law, Cabinet, caucus, communist, conservative, constitution, constitutional monarchy, deficit, democracy, desecrate, devolution, dictator, disestablishment, facetious, gremlin, income, incumbent, Kremlin, laissez faire, land tax, levity, mayor, mockery, moratorium, neutralise, O.M., Parliament, preservative, primate, Prime Minister, pro-, red tape, revolution, senator, socialist, taxes


A.D., ancestors, antipodes, ANZACS, Argonaut, Aristotle, artichoke, Augustan Era, barbarian, Black Death, centurion, columbine, consul, Copernicus, crusade, Crusaders, Elizabethan Age, eunuch, facile, feudal system, gelatine, gladiator, hydraulics, Industrial Revolution, Jacobite, Magna Carta, Milky Way, nectarine, Nero, Oddity, Phoenicians, plasticine, proposition, Royal Mint, sausage, Seven Years War, Socrates, speech, Yellow Peril


beds, bowel, budget, guest, homogeneous, hostage, matrix, monogamy, mortgage, period furniture, Phoenicians, pyjamas, Soviet, tumbler

Human body

abdomen, ambidextrous, anatomy, aorta, appendicitis, appendix, artery, bowel, brawn, caterpillar, cerebrum, chronic, consul, ear, facile, goitre, liquor, oblivious, pancreas, paradise, pedagogue, prognosticate, solar plexus, spine, topaz


broadcasting, chronic, tabloid


ad nauseum, anathema, Ave Domine, extempore, ibid, obiter dictum, prima facie


ali baba, alibi, barrister, conviction, co-respondent, coroner, divorce suits, evidence, extempore, feudal system, innate, inquest, justifiable homicide, lawsuit, lullaby, Magna Carta, malefactor, manslaughter, mediator, obiter dictum, recrimination, relegate, renegade, salient, sultan, thief


acrimony, adultery, adversary, ambiguity, bachelor, barrister, bouquet, cask, crusade, divorce suits, harmonizing, immortality, justifiable homicide, M.A., mariner, marital, marriage, matrimony, midwife, monologue, monotony, mother-in-law, optimist, polygon, sinister, spinster, tantrum, trigonometry Mathematics: angle, centimetre, centipede, circle, decimal, equator, equilateral, ff., foist, hippopotamus, hooligan, isosceles, line, litre, logarithm, matrix, multitude, nonplus, parallelepiped, pavilion, pentagon, polygon, quadrangle, rectangle, rhetoric, trapezium, trigonometry, trisect


actuary, anomaly, bookkeeping, costume, deficit, disperse, emolument, exhort, filet mignon, heathen, income, invoice, levity, misogynist, monastery, mortgage, N.B., overdraft, pensive, profiteers, prophet, prospectus, stock exchange, taxes


adagio, archipelago, castanet, catarrh, D.C., ff., fugue, goitre, guitar, interval, magician, mandarin, music, oboe, pessimist, reproduction, resonance, S.O.S., sanatorium, scale, semibreve, solar system, sonatina, stevedore, symphony, symposium, syncopation, tenet, thrombosis, triplet, vile


assiduous, atoll, evergreen, finesse, foliage, icons, reefs, reproduction, sewerage plant


actuary, alderman, author, banker, barbarian, barber, barrister, buttress, cowboy, critic, detective, dictator, doctors, editor, etymologist, expert, fissure, furrier, haberdasher, magician, manager, marine, mariner, navigator, octogenarian, oculist, optimist, pedestrian, pessimist, philanthropist, pilot, postmen, post-mortem, priest, prospectus, prostitute, rear-admiral, sailors, sculptor, senator, sheriff, skyscraper, stevedore, taxidermist, vegetarian

Philosophy and society

altruism, aristocrat, Aristotle, augment, austerity, bank holiday, banker, chauvinism, chauvinist, chivalry, circular argument, communist, compliment, contentious, cynic, depopulation, derelict, dogma, employee, etiquette, extravagance, foible, guest, honesty, hygiene, idle, leap year, lie, life, maniac, misery, mobility, necessity, nihilist, optimist, orthodoxy, pacifist, pedestrian, pessimist, puerility, philanthropist, philosophy, politeness, poverty, revolution, Socrates, Stoics, tenet, utopia


anglophile, arbitrary, castanet, connoisseur, cyclone, Eucharist, exhilaration, fetish, jigsaws, juggler, lucre, penultimate, repartee, robot, saline, sleeping partner, socialist, tantrum, Wii


ablutions, acolyte, acrimony, adamant, adultery, amen, anachronism, antipodes, apostle, atheist, bizarre, cataract, celibacy, celibate, Christianity, confusion, conjugation, creator, crusade, Crusaders, deacon, desecrate, devolution, dogma, duplicity, epistle, ethics, Eucharist, faith, fugue, genteel, Goliath, graven image, Guinnesses, hallowed, heathen, hereditary, heresy, holy orders, idolator, immortality, infallible, inflammable, irrelevant, Lent, martyr, miracle, misery, missile, monastery, Mosaic Law, nihilist, opossums, panacea, parable, parsimonious, Philistines, priest, profiteers, prophet, Protestantism, psalms, rabbit, rabies, seminary, synonym, syntax, vacuum, Vatican, Virgil

Science and medicine

acolyte, affectionate, amorphous phosphorus, anaesthesia, anaesthetist, antidote, Argonaut, aspirant, atomic weights, B.Sc, bacteria, biplane, botulism, bronchitis, cataract, caterpillar, caviar, centipede, cerebrum, chronic, claustrophobia, coal, consul, conversation, conviction, Copernicus, crickets, dead heat, decease, diabolic, doctors, dynasty, flirtation, gravity, H2O, hampers, heavy water, helicopter, hereditary, heresy, humour, hydraulics, indiscretion, Industrial Revolution, inflammable, injection, insulators, interjection, interpreter, intoxication, iron, irony, irrigate, juggler, lava, laxity, lethargy, M.D., magnate, magnet, malleable, Mars, memory, meteorological station, meteors, microbe, microscope, Milky Way, moment, monsoon, natural immunity, nitrates, oblivious, oxygen, parasite, pathology, pencil, petroleum, pharmacy, philosophy, phlegmatic, polyp, prism, prostitute, psychology, psychotherapy, quartz, reproduction, rotation, saline, sciatica, seasons, sentiment, solar system, thermometer, thesaurus, thrombosis, trite, turbines, vacuum, water, weight, wind, x-rays


al fresco, C.O.D., cadet, critic, empire, erg, faux pas, hyperbole, L.B.W., polemics, prose, pylon, refugee, seasons, Socrates, spectre, teetotaller, trapezium


computer, icons, insulators, reboot, robot, stylus, Wii


broadcasting, cartoon, cereals


abominable, admonition, adversary, arsenal, biplane, conscription, corps, envision, guerrilla, legions, missile, Seven Years War, strategy, unamiable, zodiac